Monday, June 29, 2009

Gay Marriage!

Well, here we go since the anger is fresh and crisp.

I got out of work about an hour and a half ago, went
to the food store to do some groceries... it's been a bad,
long day. Rainy, I am running a shit hole of a store by
myself and I hate food shopping.

I'm out in the parking lot, loading delicious empty
carbs into my seven year old Subaru POS' trunk as
I am approached by some old hag, sitting in the
passenger seat of a late model Lexus, husband at the
steering wheel, kid in the back.

WATCH OUT! It's the Perfects!

"Sir! Can I get you to sign a petition?"


"We believe that a marriage is a sacred bond between
man and woman and..."

"Listen, whatever makes people happy, right? I don't
care if it's two dudes or two girls."

*she gives me a patronizing little smile*

"Whatever, lady, deal with it"

So she drives off... I close the trunk and drive home.

And as I am sitting in the car, Monster Magnet blaring
I am thinking:

I've been married for over a decade now. I have three
kids with the woman I love... I am straight as a rod.
I think penises are ugly and vaginas are next to
a pint of Stella Artois in deliciousness.

Conservative? Liberal? You're all assholes
with someone elses agenda because you're too
stupid to have your own.

I follow my own asshole agenda.

Here's my agenda on gay people:
Who gives a fuck if they like it in the ass???
It's their own private bed rooms. As long as they
don't say "HI" and quickly sodomize me, I'll be cool
with them.. at least until one of them says 'hi' and
quickly sodomizes me...

Then I'll fucking sign your petition.

What's so scary about gay people that they shouldn't
be allowed to get married and spend the rest of their
lives together?

They talk different? They're more flamboyant?
They don't do missionary and stop fucking every
night once they've been together for two years?

So fucking what?

I hope all you conservative, bible thumping, bigot
pieces of shit go to hell and get raped by your own
personal demon with a pineapple shaped dick.

"We believe that marriage.. blah blah"

We? Who the fuck is 'we'?

Are you that scared of your own 18th century
opinion that you have to quote the invisible mob
with torches?

Is it because deep, deep down your Uber Ich
wants to do some sodomizing or vagina on
vagina action? And this is exactly what I
think it is.

Google it. See how many conservative politicians
or fervent family values firebrand preachers
like some quick dick action in a public rest room.

Check these fucks out if you want to...

Last time I checked - it's 2009. Wake up, America.
It's not a crime to be gay anymore.

Oh.. and here's another thing to think about if
you are concerned enough about the moral
corruption of your God and Apple Pie paradise.

Gay people have been around forever.
And as long as there's people on this planet
there will be gay people around. Deal with it.

It's not unnatural to be gay. You're born gay.
You just figure it out once you hit puberty.
And I fucking hope all of you will have a gay
son or daughter just like Dick Cheney.

Most gay people I have met in my life were
cool. A little odd... but not utter assholes
like most of the other half of the planet.

People like you make me sick. You'd probably
like your Jim Crow laws back, too. Right?
I bet.

Marriage for white people with a taxable
income of $120k a year only!

So have your opinion. Don't solicit it to people
trying to get their food shopping done.
And don't solicit your opinion to me.
I don't give a shit.

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