About my blog and stupid things

My blog. I can’t really describe why I all of a sudden had this terrible urge to have a blog.

I don’t have a myspace or facebook account. I don’t need a bluerose69 or whazzerfuck1978 to be my e-buddies. I don’t need to talk to old school buddies.

What are we going to talk about? Wrestling and riding our pedal bikes together? Play some Nintendo after school?
And I don’t need to reconnect with old friends from years ago.
There’s obviously a reason why we don’t talk anymore.

The world has evolved into a big show of penis, thanks to the internet.
Is this going to be a rant against the internet? Not at all. I love it. I am spending a lot of time on it. Every day even.

But it has clearly evolved into a big penis fest of emotional exhibitionism. But instead of opening the trench coat wide for people to have a look at your Johnson, you open yourself wide on the world wide stupid.

There’s your picture right on your myspace page. You look a little drunk… HAHAHA! Stupid insider jokes, no one but your myspace friends will get, but that’s what it’s all about, right?
You have one.

If somebody asks you if you have any kind of social networking page and you dare to say ‘no’, you’ll get the look.
Because not baring your e-boobs to the rest of the world apparently makes you a social reject.

And then they try and talk you into signing up for one of those sites.
Like they get a commission or something for it.

“It’s so cool because…xyz”
Orly?

Why do I need this shit? I am not a good looking guy, my job is meaningless, my hobbies questionable. Who the fuck would want to look at my social networking page anyways?
Friends? Family? Fucking call me or lets go see a movie or go out to eat.

Don't send me cute kittens.
Or e-hugs.
Or whatever other shit you can send people.

Don’t even get me started on twitter. txt speak: The Next Generation.
Super short blogshit for even stupider shit. “HALP MY PLANE IS GOIN TO…”
Famous last twitters anyone?

What’s the point of twitter? You can twitter to people that you have to take a piss because you don’t have room for more elaborate communication.
Blogging for the lazy and attention whores. “I JUST TOOK A PISS LULZ!”
Ashton Kutcher has what… 2.5 million twitter followers. What the fuck, people?
But Q.E.D. - people are stupid. Thank you, Ashton, for proving my point.

Anyone hear about Miley Cyrus breaking up with her boyfriend
and they twittered back and forth after?
For the world to see? Terrific.

I’ve been called arrogant many times in my life but this is not going to be a holier than thou litany even though my wife calls my rants sermons at times.
Maybe this will even help her to get a break finally.

Once I get started, I am hard to stop and I was thinking a blog might be a good outlet since most of the time I also talk myself into a mindless rage about stupid things that set me off.

But no worries. I am just as stupid as you are.

But not as stupid as Good Morning America… or their audience.
Because we need to know about the puppy that got stuck in the drain pipe.
Because we don’t need to know about the elections in Iran.
Because who gives a shit.
Because you probably can’t even find it on a map.

I love puppies as much as you do but fuck being a little bit more educated on current events in the world.
The thing is… they know we’re all stupid.
That’s why shock and awe news do better than the informative stuff with all the boring politics involved. Or reality TV. But that's for another spew fest some time in the future.

There is no ‘Man’ who decided to dumb us down. We’re doing a pretty good job ourselves.

We have all this information a keyboard length away.
News, History, Culture. But hey, I have to update my social networking site with another zany 10 of Why You Are so Damn Fucking Stupid questionnaires some asshole from the past I barely remember sent me twenty minutes ago.
Pass it on to all your contacts, it’s so much fun!!!! Fuck you.

Water to the left. Water to the right. Here be dragons.
That’s the popular view on current events in the world.
Local news: 15 minutes
International human interest: 2 minutes
International news: 3 minutes (but only if the word ‘America(n)’ is used at least twice otherwise it’s boring news)
Sports: 10 minutes

Or Whatever. I go online, check several news sites and then draw my own conclusions.
It’s like your doctor telling you that you have cancer. You go check with other doctors to be sure.

Fox makes me laugh alot. Fair and balanced, that's their motto.
Good researchers as well because of all those Iraqi trucks driving
around mobile WMD labs.
Got the masses excited and incited. Joseph Goebbels sends his regards.
You bought it, though.

Because they're fair and balanced and if you can't trust the news, who can you trust?

Wait a minute...

And this is what this blog is going to be all about. Stupid stuff that pisses us less stupid people off.

Like super and mega rolls of toilet paper, the size of a regular t-paper roll 10 years ago.
Like the conservative ‘underground’ - high fives from Joseph there as well.
Like… I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say we’ll find plenty to talk about in the future.

I am not a brilliant mind. Don’t expect orgasms of brilliance. You might not agree with my spelling either. But it’s my blog. Not yours. Stay posted, I might just do this on a regular basis.